Above All -- Kaitlyn Maher -- 5yo

Live as children of obedience to God; do not conform yourselves to the evil desires that governed you in your former ignorance when you did not know the requirements of the Gospel. But as the One Who called you is holy, you yourselves also be holy in all your conduct and manner of living. For it is written, You shall be holy, for I am holy. 1 Peter 1:14-16 (AMP)

~ This scripture really jumped out at me and got my attention this morning. Bear with me as I share a little about my struggles. In my "former ignorance" I was an alcoholic. I'm not talking about having a drink or two every day, or even having a few too many on the weekends. I'm talking about a full blown, drink a 12 pack (or more) at least five nights a week, kind of alcoholic. The kind that is still standing after that many beers. The joke was that I could drink most men under the table. Not a legacy I care to leave behind when I'm gone from this world.

Eventually, I came to the end of myself, and after many years, and much crying out to God to deliver me from this prison, He did it. I stopped drinking immediately, without so much as a twitch or tremor. I had absolutely no withdraw side effects, as I should have. Now that is divine deliverance. I had absolutely no strength to stop on my own. The only thing I did was have the willingness and desire to quit. He, and only He did the rest. That was January of 2006.

For nearly three years, alcohol never touched my lips. It felt good to be free, and to think clearly for the first time in MANY years. But then came our 25th wedding anniversary. We went to Savannah to celebrate, and our hostess gave us a complimentary bottle of wine. We pondered and debated whether or not to have some. We finally gave in to the temptation and were sorry for it later. It was another long stretch of time before we had a drink with lunch, then another stretch, and so on. We seemed to maintain a certain level of restraint.

And that brings me to today. As I read this scripture, I am wholly convicted. I am absolutely not where I was, but I am absolutely not where I want to be, or should be. As the stresses of life take their toll on me, I find myself wanting that drink more often, and that terrifies me. At the same time, I find myself more drawn to my Savior and all He has to offer. It is a constant battle between my "old man" and my "new man", but with God's strength and power the "new man" will always win. Hallelujah! I will most certainly fall from time to time in many areas of my life, but I know that my Savior, Yeshua, will ALWAYS be there to pick me up and put me back on the path that leads to life everlasting.

Even Paul struggled with obedience. He himself wrote in Romans 7:15-24, For I do not understand my own actions I am baffled, bewildered. I do not practice or accomplish what I wish, but I do the very thing that I loathe which my moral instinct condemns. Now if I do habitually what is contrary to my desire, that means that I acknowledge and agree that the Law is good (morally excellent) and that I take sides with it. However, it is no longer I who do the deed, but the sin principle which is at home in me and has possession of me. For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what is right, but I cannot perform it. I have the intention and urge to do what is right, but no power to carry it out. For I fail to practice the good deeds I desire to do, but the evil deeds that I do not desire to do are what I am ever doing. Now if I do what I do not desire to do, it is no longer I doing it it is not myself that acts, but the sin principle which dwells within me fixed and operating in my soul. So I find it to be a law (rule of action of my being) that when I want to do what is right and good, evil is ever present with me and I am subject to its insistent demands. For I endorse and delight in the Law of God in my inmost self with my new nature. But I discern in my bodily members in the sensitive appetites and wills of the flesh a different law (rule of action) at war against the law of my mind (my reason) and making me a prisoner to the law of sin that dwells in my bodily organs in the sensitive appetites and wills of the flesh.

This scripture gives me much hope and peace. For I know that I am not alone in the struggle of obedience to my Father.